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How My Change in Perception led to Purpose

We’ve heard it before that if we don’t like what we see, we should change it. But, what about the things we just can’t change? The stuff that we have no control or power over. Life-changing and traumatic events like car accidents, diseases, or financial burdens. Some disasters literally just pop up and consume our world by storm.


At least that I how I felt when I popped up pregnant and had to relocate thousands of miles with no job, no career, no sense of self-worth, and no money. I had a newborn to feed and bills that were still racking up by the minute. On top of that, the beautiful, fun, and spontaneous life I had lived was completely over before I could blink and my new life of excess weight, sweatpants, fast-food, and sleepless nights was my new reality.


It was safe for me to say that I hit lower than rock bottom. I was completely under the rocks, feeling every weight of each stone.


For years, I blamed myself and others for the drastic changes in my life. I couldn’t believe the changes in events and that I had no escape out of it. Months after months I found myself crying and depressed as I struggled to pay my bills, lose weight, and gain employment. Seeing my account resembles negative digits each week took a heavy blow at my confidence. The fees that I racked up as I called my banking institution asking them to forgive me one more time and waive my overdraft fees.


Life was crappy and my headspace was even crappier. Not only did I see no way of crawling out of my circumstances, I undeniably believed I would be there forever. But like fall and winter, or spring and summer that consistently goes around and around. Or like the gravity that pulls everything UP, down. So is the ebb and flow of life. Life will never be a quick sprint to success but more of a never-ending marathon that makes or breaks you.


I’ve interviewed successful CEOs, retired athletes, and growing entrepreneurs. They all seemed to have one thing in common, the mental wars they had to fight and win. When a person takes so many losses and experience many types of grief, hope becomes non-existent and the pain psychologically transforms into comfort.



For years, I underwent the process of changing my mental space. Easing up on my harsh self-judgments and diving headfirst into self-love. I discovered so many limiting beliefs from myself and the opinions of others that I allowed to believe true. As I combatted each negative and positive thought that crept in my mind, I asked myself, “why do I feel this way?” or “why did I just think about this?” Realizing the answers were deeply rooted triggers that sometimes discouraged me, making me feel like this battle of self-discovery and love was too hard to fight.


But I was desperate for my life to change. I wanted to experience happiness again and not the happiness that comes from money, other people, or surface things. I wanted internal happiness. A happiness that could sustain and traumatic event.


I had chosen to live my life how I wanted to, and in some ways, I’ve had great experiences. But in more ways, I still felt hopeless and lost. With my inner hunch always bugging me that I was created for something more, my days and nights started to become restless. I tried to drown them out with dates, parties, and trips, but when the hype ended, I was left to face the same mirror.


So, I had made the decision that I would stop living life reckless and meaningless. I started to research, dig, and seek every self-help technique until all roads pointed me to Jesus.

I grew up in a Baptist home where God and Jesus weren’t painted as the friendliest people. Between God consistently killing people in the old testament and the laws if broken that would condemn you straight to hell, let’s just say, being a Christian wasn’t something I was interested in.


But what I found…


Jesus had allowed me to experience deep heartbreak and disappointment to bring me to a point of vulnerability and surrender. A point that helped me realize I can’t live life on my own, and I most certainly wouldn’t accomplish my dreams without going to God first. Being so desperate for the pain to stop, I skeptically gave him a try.

What I discovered is he’s not the mean punisher I painted him to be. He is the complete opposite; filled with love and forgiveness. Teaching me how to love and forgive myself for the choices I made without consulting him first. Also, giving me the peace, I was searching for so long for. At that moment, God showed me that we don’t decide we’re successful once we reach success, but we decide we’re successful when everything around us looks like failure.


We don’t decide we’re successful once we reach success, but we decide we’re successful when everything around us looks like failure.


Sometimes the tornados in our lives don’t end until we change our perspective on them. Maybe it’s realizing that we can’t do life alone and we do need a higher power to help us make better choices; or maybe our situations aren’t that bad, because now we are blessed with the opportunities to help others who are experiencing the same things.


Life is 75% perception and you have the power the change how you see it. A famous writer once wrote, “if you change the way you think about things, the things you think about will change.”


One day you will be grateful for all your hardships. I found purpose, value, and worth that has given me more strength and courage to keep running my marathon of life.


God Bless

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